Thursday, July 29, 2010

Things that make you go.... huh?!

So, I know I've been a horrible blogger... this is nothing new, though. Today I have time (or at least, a lack of inclination to do any of the other stuff I should be doing), so lucky you, you get a post! ;)

This morning on the way to the subway station my mother and I encountered a 'gent' who has inspired this post full of "WTF" traffic (vehicular and pedestrian) moments of the past little while.

This morning's winner: As we drove along in Mom's van, a black Honda Civic in the lane beside us pulled partly into our lane. Mom slowed down (good woman!). Civic drifted back, drifted over again a little further, drifted back a bit, drifted all the way into our lane. Mom was a tad flustered. I looked at the driver-side wing mirror of the Civic. Huh. Looked at the edge of the steering wheel on the passenger side. Double Huh. "You know, if he'd put the phone down and stop trying to read that document he might drive better." Yup... not only was he doing the illegal by driving with a cell phone clapped to his left ear... he also had a multi-page document balanced on his steering wheel that he was reading. Drifting all over the farking road.... including into oncoming traffic. I'd say candidate for a Darwin Award, yes?

Last week included such winners as:
- the guy who seemed strangely confused by the red octagons mounted on poles at intersections. You know... the ones that say "STOP"? Or maybe he's just illiterate. He actually flipped off the guy in front of him at one T-junction because he came to a full stop instead of driving out under the large truck barrelling on through (they didn't have a stop sign... just us). How silly of him not to try to dive in front of a vehicle 20 times the size of his own! How dare he come to a full stop and force Mr. Oblivious to apply his brakes!

- the cop (just the latest in a long string of cops I've seen do this) who jay-walked across Dundas in front of the local cop-shop. Dude! You are not above the law. If you saw a regular citizen do the same, you'd slap him with a ticket... maybe you should consider setting a better example? Nah.... of course not.

- Chica who got off a streetcar (while on the phone) right in front of me and proceeded in the same direction as me swinging her arm so wildly in the process that she hit me. I stopped and said (quite loudly) "EXCUSE me!", at which she turned and said "oh so sorry" before continuing both conversation and passage. So obviously she KNEW she hit me... but chose not to say anything until I objected? WTF? Anyway, she walked all the way back to the previous streetcar stop, which confused me even more. Must've been one hell of an interesting phone call.

- the kid, perhaps 6 years old and the same height as my legs who was walking along in front of me one morning, trailing behind granny. Fine... I move over to pass... he meanders in front... I move back, he meanders back. I swear I nearly stepped on this kid about 5 times in 7 paces. I finally said (not loudly) "do ya think you could pick a straight line, maybe?" He turned, schooled his face into a mask of abject horror, and scurried to catch up with granny, who turned and gave me a look of death. Meh. I can dish 'em out well enough, I figure I should be able to take 'em ;)

- and then there was the subway. I got on the subway one evening at about 4:30 to find it fuller than expected. 2 stops later, I saw someone stand up to exit and moved over to take advantage of the newly vacated seat. As I got to the seat, a child sitting the one of 2 seats perpendicular to it lifted a shopping bag and landed it on the seat. I looked at the bag. I looked at the child. I looked at the people standing. I looked back at both bag and child. Child, bright girl that she was for the age of 7-ish, lifted the bag again and I sat down. At the next stop, a woman got on and asked the woman (about 50-ish) at the other end of the set of 3 seats in which I was seated if she could move her shopping off the seat between us so she could sit down. You'd think she'd asked if she could eat one of the kids for dinner. Yes, that's right... In Toronto, on a fairly crowded subway during summer rush-hour this woman of about 50 and her (I'd guess) grandkids aged about 5 and 7 thought that the 3 of them should be able to take up 5 seats. Guess again, grandma! We paid a fare, your shopping didn't.

Just a few of the events of my commute in the past week or two that make you say "Huh. Huh? Huh." and shake your head. I don't understand people.