Saturday, October 18, 2008

Learn to drive!!!

Ok, so after my adventures on the roads of Toronto yesterday, I firmly believe that a frightening number of drivers got their licences in boxes of CrackerJacks.

Asshat #1:  I'm at a set of traffic lights with 2 left turn lanes.  I am in the right of these lanes.  In other words, the lane immediately to my right is a lane designated for travel onward along the road from which I am about to turn.  Light turns green.  Car to my immediate right  begins to move... only he's not going straight.  He's turning.  And since there are no lane markings for a turn from that lane, he's IN my lane.  Insert several seconds of standing on the horn and much cursing audible inside my car.  It gets better, though.  The road we're turning onto has 3 lanes, but the one on the right isn't really a lane, so much as a really long on-ramp.  It runs for slightly less than 1 block, and ends in an on-ramp to the 401.  So, numb-nuts clues in that I'm not surrendering the lane I'm in to him, and he's not actually in a turning lane... so he finishes his turn into this extreme right lane... but he's slightly ahead of me because I value my car too much to really force the issue around the turn.  I move to pass him, but he decides he doesn't want to be on the on-ramp... so he moves over.  NOTE:  this does not mean he changes speed or shoulder checks.  This does not even mean he looks in his goddamn mirror.  This means he moves over.  Blindly.  While my car is 1/2 way up the side of his.  Cue horn.  Cue foot to floor.  Cue more cursing.


Asshats # 2 - 279,329,562:  Does anyone check their mirrors any more?  Or their 'blind spot'?  Or their freakin' speedometer?

If the car immediately behind you on the highway is larger and heavier than yours, and the vehicle in front of you is a transport truck... it's safe to bet that both the vehicle in front of AND BEHIND yours will take longer to stop than you will.  Ergo, no need to slam on your brakes when the transport truck you're following eases onto his brakes.

If you're in the left-most lane on the 401 and traffic is flowing well, there's absolutely no reason or excuse to be travelling at 75 km/h.  None.  That's a ticketable offense, so unacceptable is such behaviour.

If you are incapable of maintaining both a conversation and your lane on the highway, guess which one you should forgo?  Yeah, the conversation, dumbass.  Or better yet... forgo driving completely.


And this is why I try not to drive on the 401 in Toronto.  Outside Toronto... not nearly as many problems, really... yeah, there are still a few idiots, but not nearly as high a concentration.

People are dumb.

And they eat a lot of CrackerJacks ;)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Theme Songs

Do you have a 'theme song'?  A song that resonates with you more than others?  A song that inspires you?

I've had a few over the years.  Some of them have come around more than once.

Back in High School (when I was a social outcast... ok maybe I'm STILL a social outcast ;) ), it was "I'm Going Slightly Mad" by Queen.  Self-explanatory, really.

In University is was "So Alive" by Love and Rockets... and that one still resonates, as long as there isn't a mirror in the vicinity.

After the catastrophic failure of my first engagement, Kim Stockwood provided my anthem-du-jour with "You Jerk".  Conveniently, it was still in my collection for the next Jerk... and the next... and the next. ;)

Lately it's been an oldie that's been around the 'theme song' track a few times.  Another Queen hit... "The Show Must Go On".  It panders to my inner whiny little drama queen, but also reminds me that no matter what kind of shit happens in life... well... shit happens.  You pick up the pieces, you move on, you hold it together.  Or at least, I try to.

If you're curious about any of these songs which have been 'themes' for me, google "lyrics bandname song title" and have a read.  Who knows... one of them might resonate with you, too.

So... do you have a theme song?  Care to share?