Twists and Turns

It's funny the way things play out sometimes.

Through the recoil from a fairly heinous personal attack, I've met some great people. While some people have left my life, others have entered. While I may be losing one, I may be growing closer to others. And in the dark days lately and to come when I've been feeling so alone, I need to focus on that.

If not for events of last fall, I might not have been looking for a way to spend the time when I was no longer out with certain people. I might not have wormed my way into the paintball world. Some of the people I've met through that are some of the best people I've ever met. Awesome people with awesome attitudes... lots of laughs, lots of solidarity.

I fear I may be losing someone who was once close. He's not much older than me, but I've seen recent pictures and the pain his eyes show has aged him unbelievably. I wish money wasn't such an issue in our lives right now... I might be able to visit him before he's gone. I wish distance hadn't stolen so many years of having him in my life... and likewise health issues. There are memories I'll treasure... taking him to do 'touristy' things the last time I saw him... hearing stories of his travels... childhood visits at my maternal grandmother's home... my favourite and closest cousin growing up.

Funny how people drift in and out... sometimes staying for years, sometimes only briefly (but profoundly) touching our lives, sometimes making return appearances, sometimes hovering around the edges of our existence, waiting to be invited in, or to invite us out, sometimes teaching us valuable lessons (about self-worth, about the value of other perspectives, about character judgement and trust...), sometimes just providing a distraction and a re-direct only realized much further down the road.

The key is to cherish the moments for however long they last, and appreciate the lessons.