A breakthrough... I think

So.. on Saturday I attended a babyshower for a friend. A lovely girl... very sunny, and sensitive, caring and generous. A girl who has had a number of challenges in her life, but has managed to not let them grind her down. I've known her for a few years and she's always been supportive when I needed support... when people were attacking me, when we were going through A.R.T., when we inevitably miscarried both resulting pregnancies. And I like to think I've returned the support... when she had to put down a beloved pet, I went with her so that she wouldn't have to be alone, and in case she wasn't able to drive (safely)... when a family member was facing a legal issue that was monumental... and when she announced that she was pregnant and was faced with hundreds of catty and abusive and demeaning remarks (both to her face, and behind her back).

I have always thought that this girl would make a wonderful mother... that any child would be lucky to have such a source of pure love in their life, regardless of the circumstances preceding that involvement. Yes, I think she had some growing up to do... but at the age of 24, most people DO still have some growing up to do... and a lot of people don't do all their growing up until faced with situations requiring it.

Anyway, Saturday was her baby shower. Baby is due in about a month. I expected it to be a difficult day, as other baby showers have been. But it wasn't. Not even a little bit. Shopping had one brief moment of "it's never going to happen for us" angst, but it really was a brief moment... and Saturday was just plain lovely... with blessedly few "shower games" *laugh* One OMG moment, when I realized that this adorable 8-months-pregnant girl has the same abdominal girth now (give or take a cm or so) as very non-pregnant me. Yes, I know she's about a foot shorter than me, but still... if ever there was motivation to lose more weight... *laugh*

Maybe it's because for all this was an "oops" and didn't involve invasive testing or procedures to obtain or months of active trying, it wasn't an easy challenge to face... divorce not final, fairly new relationship, family challenges going on at the same time. Maybe it's just that I've done some more growing up of my own. Maybe it's because I've come to terms with our own situation. Or maybe it's just because she is such a truly wonderful woman. In any case, I couldn't be happier for her and her daughter and her fiance as they become a growing family.

Now I just have to finish that damn baby-blanket I started for her and then abandoned when the new job started *laugh*

In other news, D and I finally had a conversation about how to move forward on our own journey as aspiring parents. Or, I finally tabled the subject and he agreed to devote some thought to having a discussion ;) Small steps. I'm not off probation until next month, anyway, so we don't want to start moving before that employment security is there.